First Dates Guide

A first date can be one of the most nerve raking things you will experience in your life. But they can also lead to something wonderful. Don’t let nerves or inexperience ruin your date. I have put together a guide to help you through your first date and to hopefully ensure you get that all important second date.


1. Dress to impress

Wear something that makes you feel fantastic. Confidence mainly comes from looking good and feeling good. So wearing your best will help you feel your best and alleviate some of those nerves. If you’re a woman then wear bright colours as these give the impression of confidence and red is associated with romance. According to scientific research wearing red lipstick can make your lips appear more attractive to men.

2. Wear an amazing perfume / aftershave

Smelling great can instantly make you seem more appealing on a date. So make sure you’re wearing your best smelly.

3. Arrive on time

Do not be late. This gives the impression that you are unreliable and your word cannot be trusted. This will make you seem less attractive before the date has even started.

4. Location

Choose a place with a calm and relaxed atmosphere that is not too noisy. You will be doing a lot of talking so having to shout over a sea of noise will kill the romantic vibe.

5. Confirm

Message on the  day or the night before to confirm your plans for meeting. One of the most nerve wracking things about a first date is the fear of being stood up. So make sure that the other person is confident that you will be there. Maybe text them when you are on your way as well.

6. Keep it short

Do not plan a long first date. Keep it to no more than 2 hours in case it does not go well and you want to leave.

7. Start simple

Start with simple questions like “How was your weekend?”. As no one wants to be immediately grilled like they are at a job interview. Also easy questions will help to create a more relaxed atmosphere.

8. Don’t expect too much

Don’t expect too much from a first date. You’re probably not going to meet the love of your life on your very first date. As the saying goes “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince” you will probably have to have quite a few dates before you find Mr Right.

9. Chemistry

Don’t expect fireworks as soon as they walk through the door. Love at first site doesn’t always happen. You might not think you fancy someone the second you see them. But as the date goes on and you spend more time with them/get to know them those butterflies might develop and you might not want the date to end. We also have Pheromones that work in aiding attraction. These are chemicals that humans and even animals excrete. They act like hormones outside of the body and influence our behaviour. They are subconsciously detected by the nose, brain and nervous system. Scientists believe that we pick our mates by smell. So it might be more like love at first smell rather than love at first site.

10. Be yourself

If you plan on having a relationship with someone then it’s important that you be yourself. Even if it means the other person won’t want to be with you as you cannot pretend forever. The right person will accept you just the way you are.

11. Drinking

However tempting it might be do not get drunk before or on a first date. Limit yourself to one alcoholic drink or stick to soft drinks. We are not ourselves when we drink and it alters how attractive you find someone. So you are not able to make clear decisions or access whether you fancy someone properly if you have been drinking. Plus no one likes to make a fool of themselves, especially on a first date.

12. Mobile phones

Avoid using your mobile phone on a first date. This is just about one of the rudest things you can do. This person has come to see you and probably made a serious effort in your honour. So the least you can do is give them your full attention.

13. Eye contact

Make eye contact when talking or listening to your date. This shows that you are interested in the person.

14. Your ex

Avoid any talk about your ex on a first date. Hearing you slate your ex is a turn off and will leave them wondering what you would say about them in the future.

15. Honest and open

People appreciate and value honesty. It helps to build trust. Open up a bit as well. It’s not a job interview and your date wants to get to know the real you. Opening up about personal stuff such as family and your dreams for life etc help to create a connection with the other person.

16. Compliment

Compliment the other person on how they look. This will instantly make them feel more at ease.

17. Offer to go halves

If you are a woman then don’t expect a man to pay for everything. Ask him if he would like a drink or offer to split the bill if you have dinner. This will make him respect you more even if he does decline and will be a refreshing change for him. It is the age of the modern independent woman after all.

18. Do not rant or moan

Try to avoid moaning or ranting about stuff on a first date. For example if the coffee was not quite up to your usual standard or the traffic was horrendous. Most importantly do not rant about other people. Negativity on a first date is so unattractive and a huge turn off.

19. Ask questions

Don’t just talk about yourself all evening. Ask questions and listen intently to their answers. Your enthusiasm to learn more about them will show that you are interested.

20. Smile

Smiling will instantly make you appear more attractive and can even improve your own mood as well as those around you.

21. Things in common

Try and find things that you both have in common. For example you might both like taking long walks, travelling, watching horror movies or simply both just love dogs.

22. Sex

Do not have sex on a first date. This is likely to make the other person respect you less and wonder about the amount of previous sexual partners you have had. Couples who wait to have sex often have more stable and satisfying relationships. Plus sex releases the love hormone Oxytocin which is also known as the cuddle hormone. It deepens the feelings of attachment so it is probably a good idea to hold off from sex until you are more sure that there is a good chance you are likely to have a relationship with this person.

23. Do they like me?

When you’re on a date sometimes it can be hard to tell how well the date went and whether they actually like you or if they were just being friendly. So when you get home it is a good idea to text them. You’re only going to find out if you communicate. A simple text like “I had a lovely evening. Hope you got home safe.” will do.

24. You are good enough

Never think that you are not good enough for someone. If you are not one person’s cup of tea then you will be someone else’s champagne. So don’t get too upset if a date doesn’t work out. You’re just one step closer to one that will.

There is no exact science for the perfect date but hopefully these tips and tricks will help to alleviate those first date nerves. Most importantly you should try to relax and have fun. Good luck!

Miss Ruby Hearts

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